An amazing woman wrote this in a private Facebook forum, but she gave me permission to reprint it. Don't let the language sway you... this is a letter brimming with personal power and freedom. She takes full responsibility for her experiences and perceptions, and is crystal clear in her communication of what she wants, and what is distracting to that desire.
Anaïs Nin: “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom” (from wildmind.org)
It can take an instant, if you're willing; it took me a couple years because I wasn't. When I finally became willing, things shifted very quickly.
For me, it had everything to do with the two-sided coin of: 1) self acceptance, and 2) unknowingly needing something from someone else, that being "acceptance". When I came to understand that it was my job to accept myself, the opinions of others just didn't matter.
What I've found is this, that being vulnerable is one thing in itself, with it's own rewards. That's separate from an assumption that seems to be made, which is that if I'm vulnerable with someone, that they _should_ be selfless and tend to my vulnerability; that shuts down the possibility that the other person might have their own reaction to the vulnerability, they might not be available as they're in their own experience of themselves.
Maintaining responsibility for the vulnerability seems to be the thing that's so slippery here.
a·maz·ing
/əˈmāziNG/
Adjective
- Causing great surprise or wonder; astonishing.
- Startlingly impressive.
I've known Beatrice (not her real name) for going on five years, and she's become on of my very best friends; she's one of the most honest, one of the sexiest (more on that later), and one of the most sober, in all senses of the word.
Oddly enough, I'd never heard her story before; where she came from, and how she got into the rooms of recovery.
So, I get it was disruptive and surprising to see so much sex talk on my wall. Here's why I did that: There's too much confusion between desire and action.
Here's a simple example that came up yesterday from my daughter.
Spur of the moment on Friday, because of a presentation I attended, I chose to purchase and attend a course this weekend; totally changed my plans.
Turns out, this training is totally changing my life.
Yeah, it really is that big a shift.
Those of you that know me well know how important discrimination is to me. You know how conservative I tend to be with regards to sexuality. You also know how seriously I take boundaries and healthy, functional behavior.
I'm a newbie, yet here's the feedback that was given to the group from my third OM:
With regard to food, you can get fast and convenient foods versus gourmet meals that take careful and timely preparation. You can also eat nutritious ingredients compared to things with empty calories. Then there's the realm of things that are simply unhealthy for you.
All of these qualities can be quite independent of cost. More important, these analogies can be applied to other aspects of life.
Is competing against monkeys inspiring to you? Perhaps you've said to yourself, "if a monkey can do it, then I can!" Well, here's something to step up to.
According to Philippens and Vanwersch (link), in their studies to test "neurofeedback and other brain-training treatments for epilepsy or ADHD", they were able to coax monkeys to deliberately replicate the brain activity of meditation, resulting in the monkeys looking "restful [with] focus."
I love re-watching great movies as I get older. So much to behold and learn. It reminds me of a simple truth...
There are Truths.
A teacher of mine made me aware of the fact that there are some things in life that are true, regardless of time or circumstance. Once I became willing to believe that, and became willing to learn from others, I started seeing the truth (sic) in that statement.