This is a letter that came across my desk. It was in response to someone grieving the loss of a friend due, at first, to a misunderstanding, and then for reasons unknown to him:
To my brother,
What I’ve come to realize is that there are so many people that have worked magic in my life, and then disappeared. I used to think I was a failure for not being able to keep long term relations and friends, and to a large degree I was responsible for not maintaining or nurturing them.
Now that I’ve become so much better at maintaining friendships, I notice that there are people that are less skilled than I, less willing, or whatever. It’s not simply up to me to keep a two-way relation going, nor is it possible.
Some essential ingredients that I’ve found has been the willingness and ability to be as honest and humble as I can be. If I don’t do that, then I’m prone to misscommunication, misunderstanding, and or egotism. Any or all of those are problems to clear relations.
All I can do is my best at keeping my side of the street clean. I commend you on what you’ve done for your part in the misunderstanding. There’s no denying that she was magical for you and your life, and I don’t think that anything can, or should (IMHO), ever take away her willingness to be right there at that particular moment in time and space, to give you that nudge to send you on your way.
To get philosophic for just a moment… :-), the magic that she did was for her own karma, not yours. The way I see it, her actions were never really about you, though you were an extremely excellent opportunity for her to manifest her mojo. She gained as much, if not
more, for her part in your relation.
You’ve done your part. You can let go. If she needs to miss out on your friendship, it is her loss. You have permission to trust that she will re-enter your life if need be, but until then, you have the rest of your life to give your attention to.
Go, and be excellent, my brother.