I had a dream the other night. Vivid as heck, a rarity for me. It crystallized something for me that I had been clear of in my head, but obviously not as much in my heart as I felt such calm after the dream that I must have been unresolved more than I realized.
In the dream, I was practically screaming trying to convince someone that I loved them. They just didn’t believe me. They had easy access to a whole litany of complaints that I couldn’t fully refute for various reasons — some where subjective to her perceptions, some were inaccurate, some were true. The dream didn’t last long as I’ve become (very!) quick to realize that if I’m trying that hard to persuade or convince someone that there’s something else in the way that is beyond my simple reasoning.
In this case, I believe (and I could be wrong) that this person simply didn’t want to believe me. From that perspective, there was nothing I could do except continue to live with integrity and not to repeat any of the issues from the past that I was responsible for.
When I awoke, I felt agitated but peaceful. It was intense to have that screaming match in my sleep, but I became absolutely clear that I’d done all I could do as far as I knew and that, if there were anything else for me to do, I’d have to wait until it became apparent. Until then, I was okay.